Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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