would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I've blown a few things in my day
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm always down for nudity.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize