Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
