Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
