Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
