you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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