I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
