very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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