ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
