Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
