I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
