I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
