Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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