How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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