what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
