My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
