Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
