Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
