Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
