I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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