this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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