I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
