Whod you bang
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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