I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
