Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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