I'm drive I can fine osifer
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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