you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
