We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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