I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
