don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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