I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let's get the cat blown out
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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