I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize