drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
