Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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