Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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