We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
