You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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