I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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