do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize