Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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