So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
