Apparently you make a good broom.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
