Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
