I have demons in me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
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We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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