After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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