hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
