THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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