weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
