I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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