Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.