My first STD was from a foam party
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize